


First Base

by Ruuger



Category: Babylon 5
Genre: Drunkenness, Episode: The River of Souls, Friendship, Gen, Missing Scene, Retcon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-20
Updated: 2006-03-20
Packaged: 2017-10-02 05:42:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruuger/pseuds/Ruuger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Guys' Night Out, Or: The Story of How Corwin Ended Up Looking Like a Complete Idiot.</p><p>Set just before "The River of Souls".</p>
            </blockquote>





	First Base

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for the [Babylon 5 Friendship Ficathon](http://ruuger.livejournal.com/99882.html) in 2006.

Zack wasn't sure how Garibaldi eventually found out about the whole thing - Lochley certainly wouldn't have told him about it - but when the Chief did find out, and when his curiosity and investigative skills lead him to Zack, all Zack could do was to blame the whole thing on the repair crew.

Repairs of some sort were an everyday occurrence on Babylon 5, and that particular day the workers had decided to close off half of mess hall, and had decided to do this during breakfast time. And it was because of this that Zack eventually found himself sitting in the same table with Corwin.

Zack was only in semi-familiar terms with most of the C&amp;C staff, but he remembered Corwin as a decent enough guy from during the Civil War. The two of them had never really talked, though, and ten minutes later Zack was starting to see why.

"Alright, I give up. What is it?"

Zack put down the object he had been studying and looked at the triumphantly smiling Corwin.

"It's a lovebat. My aunt owns the company that makes them."

"A... lovebat?" Zack repeated, and discreetly wiped his hands to his pantleg. "What the hell is a lovebat?"

"It is approved by the Earth Alliance Psychologists Association and can be used for reliaving headaches or muscle tension caused by physical or emotional stress. It physically releases the need for punishment and guilt when we do something wrong and at the same time provides positive, psychological re-enforcement, boosting confidence and self-esteem. See?"

Corwin reached over the table and hit Zack with the bat.

_"I love you."_

Zack took the bat from Corwin and tapped it against the table. "Right. And how much is your aunt paying you for selling these... things?"

_"I forgive you."_

"It's not exactly commission-"

_"I love you."_

"...and she is family-"

_"I forgive you."_

"...and I honestly haven't had any headaches since I got mine-"

_"I love you."_

"...and-"

_"I forgive you."_

Corwin snatched back the bat, returning it to its box.

"Do you have any idea just how small the average paycheck of an C&amp;C officer is compared to the actual living expenses on the station?"

Zack smiled. "Well, at least you're not wearing an armband," he said and then, at the confused look on Corwin's face, added: "What I'm saying is, you really need to get out more."

~~~~~~

They ruled out Earhart's and most of the bars frequented by station personnel on the grounds that if you wanted to get really drunk, you did not want to do it in a place where your superiour officers or - even worse - your subordinates might see you.

Finally deciding on one of the alien bars, they stood outside the Dark Star for a very long while, staring at the poster by the door. A fuzzy picture of Londo Mollari sitting in a table with two dancing girls in his lap with the words "Officially Endorsed By Emperor Londo Mollari" shoddily printed above it.

Zack shrugged.

"Well, if it's good enough for Emperor Mollari..."

~~~~~~

"You know what I don't get," Corwin asked, looking at the Centauri girl dancing on the stage. "Women. I just don't get them."

"You're not the only one," Zack muttered to his drink.

"You buy them roses."

"You try to be their friend."

"And I mean real synthetic roses."

"You do all you can to get them out of trouble."

"_Expensive_ synthetic roses."

"In the end you'd do just about anything for them."

"But it's like they don't even notice you."

"And when you finally tell them what you feel, it's like they hadn't heard a word you said."

"No matter what you do."

"'Cause all they can see is the other guy."

"With stupid hair."

"Stupid accent."

"Being all 'look at me, I'm a hero'"

"And then they go and get themselves killed."

"How can anyone beat that?"

"And then she's all heart-broken."

"And leaves without as much as goodbye."

The men downed their drinks and sighed in unison.

"Women."

And it was in that moment of male bonding and mutual understanding that the bet was made.

"I bet the world would be a much better place if everyone had a lovebat."

It wasn't really a bet, just an unfortunate choice of words on Corwin's part, but four Jovian Sunspots and two regrettable brivari shots later it was a bet, and one that next morning made Corwin swear to never again touch any drink that was named after Centauri royalty.

~~~~~~

"If you could wait for a moment with Mr. Allan, sir, I will be right back."

Swearing under his breath Corwin snatched the bat from Zack and then, ignoring Mr. Clute's confused look, plastered a smile on his face and stepped into Captain Lochley's office.

So really, it was all the repair crew's fault.


End file.
